There are days when I am sure Jesus is returning triumphantly to take us, good people to heaven, to lift us from worldly poverty and christen us with new names and introduce us to heavenly riches; riches of the heart. I wake up in such a good mood to do the right thing. I suddenly become philanthropic, generous and creepily nice. I greet strangers; say kind words to my Kamba shopkeeper who hikes prices hata ya chumvi to 15 bob from 8 bob. That man will be left to suffer in eternal fire and brimstone, while us, the oppressed, will dance with angels, flapping wings gracefully in eternal glory. Such days are when I decide to love everybody and even call up my enemies, asking how life is after they hurt me, if karma already visited them.
On such days I reach office and hug every black child of Africa. Even Lisa. The annoying thing about her is she hugs you, but your cheeks don’t touch each other. Is that even a hug? When there is no total body contact? A hug is supposed to unite people literally and merge into one. You feel the other person heart and they feel yours. You smell their perfume and categorize it as cheap, affordable, exotic and designer or just the soap used. Hugs are precious. But Lisa brings her face near yours. It reaches a centimeter from my skin and she turns to the other side, as if my face has lice. In fact I should be the one avoiding contact with her skin, because she uses a lot of foundations and red lipstick, but hell, the trumpets are almost blasting. So I hug her too, anyway. No, not hug, but get close to her.
This loving attitude has seen me achieve a lot in my murky life. I have broken barriers that had previously been erected by my nasty personality. I have brought down kings to their knees. I have made trees sway with admiration and birds sing praises to me. I have made queens admire my queendom. I am this close to bringing the world to a standstill with my infallible love (on some days, that is)
Few weeks ago, I told Ken that he is a lovely colleague, efficient and very smart. This statement changed a lot of things. It changed the way he looks at me, the way he shakes my hand, the way he calls me. Even the way he walks changed, how he blinks, he smiles. His voice is now miraculously deeper when he talks to me. Those words made his eyes widen and sparkle with excitement. He smiled and licked his lips. The most intriguing part about men is that when you compliment them, they raise eyebrows, read between, below, above, beyond and across the lines. She wants the D! Oh yes she does! They conclude after going to bed at night and replaying the scenes earlier in the day.
It is now 20 days since I told Ken he was efficient, smart and lovely. And now, we can’t sleep in peace. He thinks it was more than just a compliment till he’s giving me ideas too. Can’t a sister be nice? His smile is indeed lovely when you approach him for help. The way he solves IT issues makes him smart, and smart is equal to sexy.
Have a great week, my people. You are lovely and wonderful!