I really don’t have a TV in my house. Let me not lie to you. In fact when you call me, you will hear echoes in the background. My phone is not like yours. Y’all are updating nice pics using nice cams and when I try looking at them, they can’t load on my phone. So I hate or rather am having challenges accessing fb. So when I woke up with news of ‪#‎ISTANDWITHKDF I was like what’s happening? Have people been fired or what? If I click on a link, this damn Samsung E33091 just is too lazy, backward, uncultured. It’s just a stupid phone. Everyone is writing RIP HEROES, AL-SHABAAB THIS ALSHABAAB THAT…OH SOMALIA MASSACRE.

By now my heart is almost exploding. Am shaking. KDF? Somalia? Wait…oh no. my Erico. Oh my God. The only song on my mind is Hakuna Yule by Avril. Am panting. I start calling Erico. His phone is off. I call up my sister to ask if she’s been talking to Erico but no. I feel so desperate and I break down. Am thinking about the 1st day I saw him. He had timberland, a bling, jeans and this tight muscles shirt. “Naitwa Erico…”he said. We met in a funeral. Long story. It’s not what all of you are thinking. Am crying and thinking of all the vybes, all the mpesa messages, the endless phone calls, his kindness. Am crying thinking that since he went to Somalia, we have not talked. Since December. You see in the forces, it reaches a time you can’t communicate to your FAMILY. Am crying asking Erico to forgive me. “last last dance with you…” am murmuring. I keep calling Erico but damn it! He is off air. Am asking God, if you bring Erico back to us, I swear to you, I will never miss church, I will abstain, I will just be a member of unmarried Opus Dei. Since the attack happened, I have never known peace. I keep seeing him coming in my dreams, calling, “Glady, my body is rotting!” I have been crying because I don’t know his whereabouts. Nobody knows. So as I go on living like am in a trance, am googling “KDF Departed Heroes” it is dumb I know, so just stop rolling your eyes. I don’t know where to find help. It has been a harrowing experience imagining his body will be flown in any time.

Days later, I got a call from… a call from Erico, my uncle Eric. He is fine. He is alive. I may not be able to narrate how families of those departed soldiers feel. It is hard. Please find it in your hearts to accept my sincere condolences. It is not easy, I know.

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