City Boys 2

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Like I said last time, my view about men is very shallow, clouded and full of assumptions. Maybe if I was a man, I would be in a better position to gossip more accurately. Boys brought up in the city are very interesting fellas:

The city boys won’t mind making a stripper their girlfriends because she is fun, adventurous and she is a porn star in bed. They love trophy girls they can show off.  Those girls who go to church, don’t like clubbing, are conservatives are boring to them and not so fun to be around.  Their counterparts from the village are drawn to good girls and always at the back of their mind, think, “Will she make a good mother in case I marry her?

City boys are into chatting and use those annoying words lol, woiye, like seriously, jeeez,smh. In social media we all see them. They are the ones who are always putting mirror selfies, WCW and uploading silly videos of them nodding to some Wiz Khalifa music. Their village counterparts have the same profile pic since mpesa was launched and would rather call instead of text. In fact you text “I feel lucky to have you as my man” he will respond with a call of I have received your text. City boy will respond, “Awww… emoji emoji emoji. You are so sweet my sherry. Lucky to have a hot mama too”

They have tattooed their bodies and look like reptiles. You do not know his actual skin color. Some have piercing- nose rings, earrings etc. The village ones always wonder why anybody would start piercing their body. The marks they have are from falling off a guava tree, a deep mark from barbed wire and other painful stories like a panga cut from some girl’s father who caught him snooping around his daughter.

Some city boys use foundation or some creams to smoothen their faces! Isn’t that make-up?  Some use cleansers too and some specific scented bathing soap. These boys do facials and go for manicures and pedicures. My village men use some petroleum jelly or if they have stretched, use some masculine lotion like Nivea for men. That is it. As we speak, they have no idea what cleansers are.

City boys walk with white handkerchiefs or scented wipes and behave like ladies, wipe seats before they sit and when they want to sneeze, they do it in their ironed hankies. The village ones have some dull masculine hankies and forget they have them in the pockets in the first place. Wiping seats is nowhere near their mind. They will just drop on the seat.

They are too notorious for speaking extreme swaglish. “Is how? Did you pata Vanesa’s text?” “Yeah, bruh. We going to that gig ama?” “si you guys kuja to my crib we hang out”. Their village counterparts are still groping with sheng and have quite never mastered it. They speak punctuated English and common Swahili with few sheng words scattered here and there.

They keep up with the Kardashians, Single Ladies, Being Mary Jane, Americas next top model, Love and Hiphop among other girlie reality TV shows. They enjoy the drama between Tiara Mari and Princess, or Monice and Nicky. They still think news is boring. Those brought up in the village still have difficulty understanding who in their normal senses publicize their life in the so-called reality and thus stick to their lane of Statham movies, Vin Diesel and American Odyssey and Documentaries. They always watch news and know Kenyan politics. They know about section 2A and many clauses in the constitution.

Last but not least, born taos love women in thongs, g-string and are disgusted by the sight of mothers’ union. Their friends on the other hand, know that panties are for covering the cookie and not for aesthetic purposes. Thus, they will not act surprised when they undress you and find you in one ugly mothers’ union.

Whom do you prefer?

This entry was posted in People.

7 comments

  1. papawereblog says:

    “City boys are into chatting and use those annoying words lol, woiye, like seriously, jeeez,smh….They are the ones who are always putting mirror selfies, WCW and uploading silly videos of them nodding to some Wiz Khalifa music.” I have a village friend who behaves like this. He needs serious clobbering.

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